The Poor Table
by cherryberryblablabla
Summary: Thorin gets a special visit from his wife in his study one day, but their fun time was simply too much for a certain object in the room.


**I was very, very bored, and I really needed to laugh a bit. This seemed to work, so I decided to share it with you. Enjoy!**

* * *

'' That was a very pleasant surprise, you know.'' Thorin smirked, tucking one of her locks behind her ear as she chuckled, both of them lying on their sides as they faced each other on the table in his study, covered with his furry coat and locked behind massive wood doors. The guards were surely in front of them, and they must have heard them when his wife (their queen) came to his study under an excuse she has something special for the king. In several minutes different noises started coming out from inside, and they were sure the guards must have been in a very awkward situation. Meanwhile, all their clothes (save for his coat) was all around the middle – sized room, while they were facing each other with devilish looks in their eyes.  
'' But next time, let's not do it in my study. It is a wonder the poor table held on during this.'' He gave her a pointed look, and she rolled her eyes.

'' It wouldn't have happened here at all if you were ever leaving it!'' She complained, and he huffed, smiling at her protests. '' You are here 24/7, barely eating and sometimes even sleeping here!'' She said, twisting one of his braids between her fingers. Her face was now worried, gazing in his pale blue eyes with love and affection. She then let go of his braid and caressed his cheek instead, while his smile dropped as well, carefully studying her new expression.  
'' You work too much, you know. If you keep up like this, you'll drive yourself mad, and...'' She paused here, and her look dropped from his face, while he swallowed thickly, knowing what she was thinking of.

He put his larger, rough hand over her small one on his cheek, and she looked at him again.  
'' There is no jewel or metal I would value more than you.'' He said, and she smiled sadly.  
'' What happened with my forefathers will not repeat as long as I have you, Dis, my nephews and, I hope, in the near future...'' He smiled, pulling her hand down to kiss lips and kissing her inner palm.  
'' Our children.''

She smiled and squeezed his hand, while he returned the smile. '' I just... I love you, Thorin. And I need you.'' She said, and his smile widened, while his pale blue watched her ones with warmth and love.

'' I love you too, my queen.'' He said, and they both chuckled, before they leaned into a loving kiss.  
Thorin sneaked his hand to the back of her neck, pulling her closer as his tongue found a way into her mouth. She gladly accepted it, and their kiss became fiercer and deeper.  
Thorin slowly towered over her, making her moan into his mouth as she felt that amazing skin on skin feeling.

But suddenly they heard strange cracking underneath, and before they could even figure out what was happening, the table creaked louder and they sank good several inches down, making her wince in surprise while Thorin even fell of it, snorting while she gaped, facepalming.  
'' I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!'' She exclaimed, while her partner in crime was dying laughing under the coat that he pulled away with him during the fall.  
The table simply couldn't hold it anymore, and it was now leaned aside as all four legs were broken and two corners of it were cracked, while long cracks appeared on the sides of the table.  
Thorin was simply dying laughing, fighting to catch his breath, while she pressed her lips together, trying not to do the same. '' Oh, shut up!'' She exclaimed, leaning down to steal his coat, but as most of it was stuck under him, she screamed shortly as she pulled herself of the table, landing on her madly laughing husband, who even started crying.

'' My lord, is everything alright?''

They both turned silent as the guard's voice was heard from the outside.  
She snorted, while Thorin looked at the door, biting his lip while tears of joy left traces on his cheeks.  
'' Everything is fine, it's just... fine.'' He said, while she was giggling into his chest.

'' Well... al-right, then.'' The guard replied. '' I guess.'' He muttered, but it was still heard inside the study.

'' I told you it won't hold on.'' Thorin groaned at her with a smile, while she was still giggling in his chest.

She finally raised her head, grinning like a fool. '' In that case, my dear...'' She cupped his face playfully. '' It seems like you have to get a stronger table.''  
They both gazed at each other's eyes grinning, trying not to laugh again. They failed, for in the next moment, Thorin snorted, then apologized, only snort several more times and burst into laughter again. She, having no strength to resist, chuckled, before she too joined him in laughing.

Meanwhile, the poor guards on the other side of the doors, exchanged embarrassed and uncomfortable looks, before they cleared their throats and straightened, trying to ignore the blush that appeared on their faces while the royals were having a good time inside.

Unlike the poor table.


End file.
